Imperfect Action

This past weekend, I got to be a part of the National League of American PEN women's presentation, awarding generous scholarships to women in art, music, letters. I told the Race Story (as it's come to be known in our family.) How my daughter once joined the track team and was invited to this big meet where she could join any event she dared. We all went to watch, lugging babies and babydom to what felt like the other side of the country. (It was really just a half hour away.) But we couldn't see my daughter. Which race was she participating in? We finally spotted her sitting in the middle of the field chatting with friends. When I went to find out why she wasn't running any of races, she mumbled,
"I don't want to. What if I lose?"
"Just run the race, Love. Run the race."
Her raw fear feels true to me everyday--it's so much easier to sit on the field (whether you have finals coming, a concert, a book project, whatever) then to stand up and give the project in your heart your damndest and fail.
I still congratulate these young National Pen women scholarship applicants for running the race. For winning.
Along this theme, fellow author Jane Parks-McKay pointed me to a great video: Artist Michele Theberge talks about how to move forward when your mind is giving you a thousand reasons why not to work on your project : I don't know how to start it. I don't have all the research. I don't have all the materials. Who will be interested? She calls it Imperfect Action and says, "Just take one step. Action begets action." A great reminder. (www.themindfulartist.com/2011/05/whats-so-great-about-perfect/
Book of the Week: Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown . The book's construction was fascinating, told from the we-POV of the sisters. It was as if these three sisters were one body telling this story. For that alone, I think it is worth the read. That and the lovely turns of phrase. The plot? Uh--well, that kind of fell off the table....

***As a side note: If you know of any young (I know we're all young, but in this case highschool and college age young) female artists, musicians, writers, who are live in the Bay Area, point them in the direction of the National Pen Women. The scholarship info for next year should be up on the website in a couple of months. http://www.nlapwsantaclara.org/.

Some good books

The Imperial Cruise by James Bradley. Ever wondered how the idea of Nazi-ism got started? Why the sudden push for an Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere? What sparked WWII? I always thought the world had just gone mad (a bad 60-year cycle, as fengshui people would say). Not so, writes James Bradley, documenting early Americans and especially focusing on the first President Roosevelt who promoted a Japanese Monroe Doctrine. The work is eye-opening....and humbling.
A Helmet for my Pillow by Robert Leckie. HBO did a series called The Pacific, which documented some of the worst battles in the Pacific during WWII (and with Steven Spielberg directing, no gore was left to the imagination.) While I had trouble watching the series, covering my eyes each time bombing started, I was fascinated that the characters in the series were based on real men. One such man was Robert Leckie who wrote a bunch of books about his wartime experiences. A Helmet for My Pillow was like reading someone's letters home--funny, endearing, heartwrenching.

Awe-inspiring Grace

The buzz in my children's worlds recently has come from UCLA. A student there got on you-tube to offer her opinion of library manners--or the lack thereof. While I hate to subject people to such nonsense, and cringe everytime I hear her talking about "hordes of Asians" --as certainly 99% of them are Americans who happen to speak more than English--one must see the video in order to understand one man's response. And there was an outpouring of response. Shame, anger, disgust, etc. I fell in the latter category, as in "How did someone like that get into UCLA???? Is this the type of politician we have to look forward to?" But one man--Jimmy Wong--wrote a song. It's tune is fun and simple, the lyrics poke good-natured fun (all the way down to his exaggerated Japanese accent), and the monies he receives when you buy his song as an i-tune download go to Tsunami Relief. Ching-Chong. I'm in awe of such grace.

Places to Help Japan

The other day I was talking with a friend about Japan, and she said she hadn't heard of any fundraising efforts. I was thinking that all I've seen is fundraising for Japan--but then perhaps it is because I'm looking, looking, looking. For those who also haven't seen any fundraising efforts, I found a great blog which listed places to help out Japan Let me know if you find other places.

Deliver Me From the Stone Age....Please

This past week was midterm week at the high school. Oh, so much information. Where does one start? I suggested my son make flashcards.
A pile of cards later, he looked more frustrated. How would he ever remember all these battles? Dates? Cell parts?
Hmmmm, what about the internet? Perhaps someone had developed a game--like jeopardy or concentration--which would make the info fun and easy to remember.
Nope. He found something even cooler.
Online Flashcards
Perhaps I'm the last neanderthal to have made this discovery. But just in case there are a few others remaining, let me say it is the greatest tool. You create your own flashcards and then can test yourself. What's more, for a small fee, you can download the info to your ipod. All week, wherever my son went, he could pull out his ipod and test himself.
I'm now looking at a pile of index cards on my desk--not for midterms, but for my novel. An unwieldy bunch of cards, denoting characters and their traits, place names, chapters and their happenings. I'm thinking it's time for me to join the new century and do some of this online flashcard stuff....but then perhaps there's a better internet application specifically for writers. Any thoughts?

Run the Race

Years ago, my eldest daughter joined the school track team. One of the first meets was away, and the coach encouraged the runners to join as many events as possible. I dragged my whole crew to this far-away school to support her.
We couldn't find her. At least not on the track. After numerous races, a diaper change, a juice-box break, I spotted her sitting on the field surrounded by a bunch of friends.
"Why aren't you joining any of the races?" I asked.
"I don't want to," she mumbled.
"Why not?"
"What if I lose?"
That raw emotion stays with me. I was reminded of it this week when my son did his best to ignore impending finals--surfing the web, making plans to build half pipes, playing video games.
I'm reminded it of it each time I put off my own writing in favor of something mundane like cleaning out a closet. For certainly it's easier to say I didn't have time to put my whole self into something then to do my damndest and fail.
But as I said to my daughter that day, as I told my son, as I must remind myself everyday:
Run the Race.
Book of the Week:
Pictures of You by Caroline Leavitt. It's been months (a long time for me) since I found a book that grabbed me, one that I looked forward to reading for more than sedative purposes. Pictures of You kept me up half the night as I longed to find out what happened to these dear characters thrust together as the result of a horrific car crash. A good--and fast--read.

Time--A Personal Issue

I ran into my son's friend today, a freshman at college. When I asked how things were going, she said, "It was a challenge at first. I've got all this time, no one looking out for how I use it, and I was never sure how much time I needed to spend doing what."
Wow.
I have a new high schooler who flounders over the same thing.
I have a new middle schooler who flounders.
As an old alum I still flounder.
I've come to think it's a matter of figuring out how much time YOU need to finish what is most important to you. I'm sure this is common sense to many. But I've watched enough people struggle to be as efficient as Tom, Dick and Harry. I watch myself constantly over-estimating my writing efficiency.
It's only recently that I'm finally figuring out how personal that chunk of time is, how necessary it is to divide those precious minutes given according to your own abilities and desires. Nevermind that Sara tosses out a chapter in two hours. Nevermind that Jen wrote an entire manuscript in a month. Based on your personal prediction of how long your important activity takes, pare down the other activities so that paper gets done, project gets done, that book gets done.


Fun Books: The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness by Elyn R. Saks. Professor Saks writes of how she grew up feeling different, hearing voices, not always sure of the thoughts she was having. As a Yale Law School Grad and Rhodes Scholar, she takes us on her journey through her sickness and shows us another side to mental illness.
The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon: This is an amazing book written through the eyes of an intelligent boy who has learning problems. His quest is to find out who murdered his neighbor's dog, and he takes us down a dangerous road through serious family issues.
Half-Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls is a novel based on the true-life story of her grandmother who grew up on a ranch in the early 1900s. She's full of spunk and creativity and the ability to survive even during the Depression. An easy and interesting read.